“Life is either an amazing adventure or nothing at all.” – Helen Keller
Since I posted last, I moved back home. Technically, that is true–I moved back to Charlotte, NC, where I grew up, and back in with my parents. That’s home, right? Parts of it do feel like home, but my home has been other places for at least a decade already.
This is not the first time in my life that I’ve done something that I never thought I’d do. At various points, I’ve said I’d never get married, never have kids, never get a tattoo, and never live in the south again. I’m kind of almost close to realizing I shouldn’t be making dramatic, declarative statements like that anymore.
My life has felt really out of control for a very long time. A terminal cancer diagnosis is a very humbling thing, because it becomes very clear, very quickly how little you can actually change or control about life.
And that’s a tough thing for someone like me. I believe very strongly that we have the ability (and responsibility) to make things better for ourselves. When I was staring down a long, difficult path ahead with no end in sight, I didn’t know how to deal. I had experience looking for balance in my life to endure a job I didn’t like, but I didn’t think there was anything that could possibly balance the load I was carrying.
What a lesson in letting go. There’s no sense in working yourself up over circumstances (or people!) you cannot change.
The good news is, it turns out this phenomenon works both ways. I thought long and hard about my decision to move back to Charlotte. I balanced the good things that I knew I had in Chattanooga with the possibility of opening myself up to other new adventures in Charlotte, plus the support I’d get from my parents with my daughter.
Of course, I didn’t know what would happen when I made that choice. I knew that I’d have to leave my job and pack everything I owned, but then things started happening that I never could have predicted. The month before I moved, I started dating someone I really connect with. We decided to try long-distance without knowing how long we’d be apart. I moved, applied, interviewed, and got a job (that I love)…two weeks later. He got a new job here and moved to Charlotte one month after I moved. What?!!
So, all of the sudden, a flood of good things have been coming my way. I feel happy and excited about what the future will bring for the first time in a long time. Some of that is because of the outstanding people I have in my life who stepped in to help, some of it is because of how hard I’ve worked, and some of it I just have no explanation for, but either way, I am so, so grateful.